History, part 2

The next major change occurred after I got married and had a daughter. Nothing opens up a grandparent like their first grandchild. We were expected to cater to Mom’s every whim as to when she could see her, how long she could visit, etc. My wife had been warned about my mother, but that’s like telling someone about a tornado when they’ve never even seen a gusty day. Mom was the cause of a lot of strife early in our marriage. Part was even my fault, as I had 20+ years of practice ignoring the crazy woman when she went off, or sat depressed and moaning – my reasoning (reinforced through years of experience) was that nothing was ever good enough, so just do what you want since she was never going to be happy about it anyway. Unfortunately my wife didn’t have those callouses on her ears that prevented things that Mom said from registering in my brain. I really don’t think that I realized the extent of the problem until my daughter (then 5) was seeing a counselor for nightmares. Obviously her visits with Mom were severely restricted, and since she was just starting school, things were nearly normal.

UNLESS you call being stalked by your grey-haired mother, constant phone calls/hang ups (mom didn’t understand callerID then), whiny voice messages, and ‘pre and de-briefing’ of the kids before and after visist (now 7, 5, and 4) abnormal. I didn’t think you’d call that normal, but that was what normal was for us for quite a while.

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~ by namegoeshere on April 6, 2007.