Dining Experience

Some preliminary things to know about most bar/grill chains:

  • Even if you can see empty tables, they have you wait – it makes them feel somehow ‘upper crusty’
  • The seating is relatively close to neighbors – even at a booth
  • People there don’t really want to hear about how the pills you took with lunch made you vomit
  • Asking for a secluded table AFTER the above works
  • Asking to keep the same waitress works too, especially if you have palmed her some cash

Once we finally got the table in the back corner, near the restrooms, and three tables away from everyone else, things went acceptably well. Mom, Dad and I talked about news/nothing and other stuff – Mom still doesn’t realize that SHE is the problem, doesn’t understand why she was ‘thrown to the ground, picked up, thrown to the ground again, handcuffed, and thrown in a squad car’. Mom still doesn’t understand why nobody wants to ‘take the time to look into sjogren’s, which is a very serious and legitimate illness that people die from’.

Maybe it’s the meds, or that I’m focused differently, or that Dad is finally seeing it too, or that I’m older and wiser (yeah, right) BUT the woman I saw today evoked feelings much closer to those I had when my Dad’s father was hospitalized – helplessness and pity. If I had a magic wand to make it better, I would, but I don’t. Mom really doesn’t understand what she is doing, or saying, or anything – in some respects, she’s about three – with NO understanding of consequences. So, I guess what I’m saying is that it’s not really her fault, she can’t help it. While talking to Dad the other day, he said that all he wanted was to have the person that he married back again. Sad, bittersweet, sappy – whatever it was, I pray that I’m never in his shoes. I feel for you Dad.

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~ by namegoeshere on April 19, 2007.

6 Responses to “Dining Experience”

  1. I am sorry for your dad……and for you, because you are most likely missing out on your mom as well.

    I am just very glad that you have decided to keep your kiddos away from her till she is stable. The harm that she could inflict on them….even if everyone was around…..yep….I am glad you are keeping them away.

  2. This is heartbreaking. You all remain in my prayers.

  3. Cont’d prayers here. This sounds so familiar.

  4. I am so sorry for all this. My dh had to go through this with his mom. I hope you all can find a way to deal with this emotionally. You all have my prayers.

  5. I just took the time to read through the entire blog.

    I am putting you and the family on my on-going concerns prayer list.

    I took Abnormal Psychology as my major in University, and while I only have the undergraduates knowledge of the disease. And while my experience with the disease has been through my volunteering at “Resort” during high school, I have some understanding about how this effects every single person.

    In my opinion one of the worst effects of sin is when it causes a child to be robbed of their parent, at any age. Mental disease is such an extreme perversion of human emotions that God created to do such good!

    To me, I read that you have had to go through a grieving process because you have lost your mother. While you have coped with the loss of your mother a while ago, unlike a physical death, there is no end in sight. This is very hard to have to face, and I am praying for you to have the strength to continue on with your life’s journey.

    I also read that your father is only now starting the grieving process. To him this is going to be as painful as a physical death. And he may not be able to work through this because your mother is very much alive. I pray that you will have wisdom in this situation. Because, this situation will also cause you to have to go through another loss. Your father is calling upon you for things that a child would normally call upon their parent. I pray you will have peace!

    Tonight I sit here and cry a few tears for the pain and grief. I know that God is good and will be with you. Still, I have the image of Christ sitting in the Garden of Gasthemene and remember the weeping and exhaustion he experienced as your very burdens and pains were placed on his shoulders. Paul also wrote that God gifted us with the ability to share in each other’s pain so that we might be able to accomplish His Will with strength beyond our own. It is in this spirit I sit here tonight.

  6. To: chocolatechic
    The kids are being prepped to visit Mom. Unfortunately, I don’t know how much better she will get, and keeping the kids from her while waiting for a ‘cure’ is seeming much more pointless. We will have to have some very hard conversations with them about Mom’s condition, and what she is likely to do & say. I can only hope that the meds will eventually work more than they have so far, but I’m not holding my breath.

    To: songbirdy
    Physical death would be much easier. If you watch zombie movies, it’s like the worst scenes, where a loved one comes back and wants to eat your brainz. At the last moment, they say or do something that lets you know that the person they used to be is still in there somewhere.

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