First Day Home

I talked to Dad earlier, and Mom was getting her hair done. Dad said that Mom was better today, probably the stability of the environment helps. I did find out that increased appetite was one of the side effects of the meds Mom is taking, so she may have actually been hungry yesterday, and not just complaining to try to get us to stop. Dad unloaded a few of the things from the truck for Mom to go through, and snuck some others in without her seeing. I made copies of the 60+ pages of reports from the hospital for Dad, and faxed a copy to Mom’s new shrink. I’ll cover some of the highlights from them in another post later. I’m going to go over later and have Mom call the kids while I’m there. Which brings up another subject.

Last night, after I got home, I went out to diner with just my wife and the kids. It was a pleasant change to not have to worry about whether something would trigger a scene. Anyway, we have been keeping them informed about what is going on with Mom, and they understand quite well, especially considering their ages (13, 11, and 9). I asked them when they thought they would like to see Mom again, and my daughter (13) said maybe around Thanksgiving. When I asked if she knew how long it was until Thanksgiving, she said 7 months. It really reminded me of how little I enjoyed going to visit my grandmother, and that it is a shame that they don’t seem to have enough good times with Mom. They were concerned that they wouldn’t get to see Dad, but in the balance their desire to NOT see Mom is stronger than their desire to see Dad (OUCH). Later, when the boys were in bed, I went back and asked if they had any more questions about what was going on, or if anything was bothering them. The 9 year old told me that if they were playing outside, and Mom drove by, that they were to run inside and hide (OUCH). I told him that they should come and get my wife or I, but that hiding was unnecessary, Mom wasn’t dangerous – she just didn’t know what she was doing, and that they were under NO circumstances to try to handle anything regarding her on their own. My 11 year old asked about phone visitation (his words, not mine).

I had a LONG talk with my wife last night, and she is legitimately concerned about any contact that Mom has with the kids. Since we are using access to the kids to ‘encourage’ Mom’s compliance with her meds, I wonder how long we can keep waving the carrot in front of the donkey (read ass if you like) without letting her get a taste. I’m somewhat conflicted about this, so we will have to see how it works out. After talking to Dad this morning, we agreed to wait until after Mom’s appt with her new shrink on Tues. to determine when and what level of contact would be appropriate, but that I’d come over this afternoon and let Mom talk with them on the phone.

~ by namegoeshere on April 20, 2007.