Road Trip – Day 2

This morning started almost normally, until Dad found Mom’s comb. When he gave it to her, Mom blew up. She had already combed her hair, and how dare he tell her to comb her hair after she had already done it, and how sorry she was that her hair wasn’t pretty, and how the nurses at the hospital never told her she was ugly, and some of them had nice hair, and maybe Dad saw one of them who had nicer hair, etc. After about 20 min, I was able to distract her, and we could go over for breakfast. I was also able to keep Mom from going off too much at breakfast. She doesn’t understand a lot of stuff, and Dad gets embarrassed by her volume in public (it can go to 11). Mom was getting worked up, and Dad had finished, so he went back to the room to finish getting ready. Mom was ramping up again on how much of an embarrassment she is to Dad, etc, etc. The breakfast room was empty except for the attendant, so I called over to her and told her and Mom that I never expected to see her again, so it didn’t really matter what she thought. That lightened up the mood a little, and Mom was relatively calm for the rest of breakfast.

When we got back to the room, Mom was feeling rushed, and goes into ‘hinder/putter’ mode, where she does everything that she can to look like she is getting ready without actually accomplishing anything. This always kicks off an escalating cycle, which I think Mom enjoys at some level. Dad will say something like ‘would you like me to put that in the car for you’, which gets interpreted as a ‘hurry up’, which ALWAYS goes to the next level.

I’m expecting to be able to leave in about half an hour or so. Hopefully we’ll make it back tonight.

~ by namegoeshere on April 20, 2007.

3 Responses to “Road Trip – Day 2”

  1. I wish you good luck and all the best for having your mother successfully treated and maintaining a positive, meaningful relationship with her. I too have a mother with a psychiatric illness, but hers, as I understand it, is a form of “paranoid schizophrenia”. It has definitely been a grieving process for me also, over the past seven years or so, as I have watched the illness consume her, to the point where I barely recognise her behaviour as that of my mother. And like your mother, mine has no sense that the problems are with her and not with me (I am the major focus of my mother’s aggression, delusions etc.). You may not feel you have many positives happening in her/your life at the moment, but you might gain comfort from the fact that there is potential for her to be treated, and also, that you are not alienated from your mother, as I unfortunately am. I pray for my mother every night and I will now add your mother/family to my prayers.
    God bless from someone who is enduring a similar experience

  2. Good luck with all of that, seems like you’re keeping a sense of humour about the whole thing.

  3. To: sympathetic Aussie
    Fortunately I have plenty of support in my wife and kids. Dad doesn’t have a lot of support, as their ‘close’ friends have all distanced themselves because of Mom’s behavior. Other friends fo Dad’s aren’t close enough for him to discuss it with, as he has kept this part of their lives well hidden.

    To: clarkebruce
    I’m reminded of the Heinlein quote from ‘Stranger in a Strange Land’,

    I’ve found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts… because it’s the only thing that’ll make it stop hurting.

    Not that it is 100% true, but it has some truth to it.

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