Blast from the Past

I was doing some housekeeping on the ‘puter the other day, and ran across a letter from November ’03. I wrote it to Dad & Mom. This was around the time that I referred to in my letter to Dad, and in a previous blog entry. Anyway, it does give you a glimpse into just how this cycle continues ’round and ’round.

Dad & Mom,

I got Mom’s voice mail the other day, and I’m writing because I think a face-to-face or phone conversation would end up in an argument.

As you have noticed, the kids are growing and changing quickly. Along with their physical growth, they are maturing emotionally and becoming more aware of ‘adult’ things that go on around them. While they may not mention anything at the time, we frequently get questions at bedtime about something that they saw or heard earlier in the day, or even several days earlier.

When negative things are said in front of them about someone they love, it hurts them. That is especially true when they love the person who is saying those things. Right now, they feel bad and are confused about why someone would say mean things that they know are not true. The older they get, their hurt and confusion will become anger and bitterness.

**Wife** is their mother, and they love her. Nothing that you could say will change that. The only effect that those comments have is on the kids. Eventually, they will choose not to be around someone who repeatedly hurts them, regardless of how much fun they sometimes have.

We have taught them not to say things that would hurt other people and model that behavior for them. We expect the same from you.

It is our job as parents to raise them to the best of our abilities, and you as grandparents have a part to play in their upbringing as well.

You both mean a lot to me, and I don’t want to hurt you, but my primary responsibility now is to my family. I hope that we can come to an agreement that everyone can live with.

After that attempt, and subsequent relapse (because Mom wasn’t being treated), I am no longer willing to take on faith that Mom is doing better. As they say ‘Trust, but Verify’ – or in my case Verify first.

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~ by namegoeshere on July 30, 2007.

4 Responses to “Blast from the Past”

  1. Thanks – my mother is bipolar too among many other things, and the absolute refusal to acknowledge the many ways she creates problems, not by being ill but by refusing to acknowledge/address the fact that she’s ill, drives me absolutely up a tree and down the otherside. Anyway, reading this helped me feel not so alone.

  2. You must hear this ranting mother to her oldest daughter God talk about not forgiving at liveuniverse27.blogspot.com to hear this crazed hateful mothers phone message that every parent children and friend should hear!

  3. That message sounds similar to ones that we’ve gotten. And that’s why we changed our number. I still get those messages on my cell, but they don’t invade our home any longer.

    That also was about 6 months ago – has anything else happened since then?

  4. This question has been moved to the questions page at https://mybipolarmother.wordpress.com/questions/

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