Birthdays etc.

There are three birthdays in a row here. My Wife’s birthday, my brother (killed in an accident 19 years ago) and my youngest son. What a surprise, Mom remembered all three. Four, if you count her first baby that died at 3 days, but that was 50 years ago, and I didn’t know until recently what time of the year it was.

Mom called on my Wife’s birthday, but added 15-20 years to her age. Then she called her a ‘street-smart slut’ and a ‘disgraceful, ungrateful wench’ who ‘doesn’t know diddly shit’. Always kind, Mom is.

She then called on my Brother’s birthday, just to remind me that I used to have a brother when I used to have a family.

She called on my Son’s birthday, to let me know that Dad went to my Brother’s grave yesterday, and ‘should he go to my son’s grave today, or is he still alive – are any of them still alive?’. She ended that call with a sincere and heartfelt ‘go to hell’.

Interesting notes about those messages:

Her voice is REALLY rough. Probably because she’s been yelling for 20+ hours/day. She’s also using a LOT more profanity than she’s used before.

I’m repeatedly called ‘Mean, Cruel, Nasty, Disgrace’ while she is a ‘beautiful, intelligent person’. Disgrace seems to be her favorite word this week.

She mentioned that Dad came back in the later half of last week, so his total time down there would have been about 6 days. He’s been in town for at least two days now, and I haven’t heard from him yet.

They went to the shrink twice last week, and they said that ‘they didn’t even get to my wife, she is a mean, cruel, bastard-bitch’. Oh, and by the way, I’m a bastard too. And the doctor said that Dad is having unresolved grief and Post-Traumatic stress. The shrink said that it’s Dad that’s the problem (according to Mom, anyway)

She did slip up once and told me to ‘watch my back at night’ and then used my father’s name. Hmmm, Interesting. I wonder if that’s the kind of message that prompted him to get the restraining order?

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~ by namegoeshere on May 4, 2008.

One Response to “Birthdays etc.”

  1. Wife speaking here….Here is my take on the counseling. She made the appointments. I am sure she displaced her own issues onto her husband and gave the counselor an ear full. Hense, the counselor being able to diagnose your dad with PTSD and unresolved grief after only two visits. Having had experience with counseling and having friends who work in the professional field of counseling…they will tell you, that diagnosis couldn’t possibly be made in two visits. My MIL manipulated that one quite well. I just wonder if my FIL picked up on that or realized what she has done.

    Hmmmm….they hadn’t even gotten to how I have ruined their lives yet? She must have been having a slow day. I am trying to remember that we are dealing with a mentally ill person….but I have gotten to the point where I despise her for everything she has done and said to me but even more so to what she has said and done to my children.

    I am tired of people telling me we need to be compassionate. Compassionate would be the ending of Old Yeller as my husband says all the time.

    I am also not going to push my husband into calling his father any more to ask if he would like to see his grandchildren. I know that he catches grief whether he sees them or not…but as my husband put it…..”If I was at odds with a future son-in-law or daughter-in-law, my husband would lie to me in order to see his grandkids.” I wouldn’t blame him.

    I cannot understand the selfishness she exhibits. As a parent listening to her tell my husband he has no mother and that he is a bastard and that is the nice stuff….I am beyond understanding any of that. If there were something in my life preventing me from seeing my children…I would go to hell and back to correct what needed to be corrected. Nothing would prevent me from seeing my children.

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