Funeral for a Stranger

One of the things that my Cousin told me about that I forgot to mention was that Mom has been going to funerals. Not just of family and close friends, but of people that she really didn’t know. My Aunt asked her about it, and Mom told her that she wanted to be around sad people because she didn’t want to be happy.

I interpret that to mean that Mom is ‘up’ pretty much constantly now, and is seeking some way to come down. It must be hard to live when the only emotions you have remaining are terror, rage, and elation. The rage is the one that I normally get a glimpse of, but last week, Mom was terrified. After Dad had ‘fallen’ down the front steps, when he left it was storming. The message that Mom left was a blending of terror for Dad’s safety while driving back, and rage at me for not caring that he was going to kill himself.

For what it’s worth, my Grandmother got to the point where she realized that something was wrong as well. Unfortunately it came way too late for anything meaningful to be done about it. It sounds like Mom is approaching that same point.

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~ by namegoeshere on May 16, 2008.